insomnia ramblings

I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't sleep. Too many pending texts and commitments. Going over and over them in my mind. But thinking doesn't make the text appear. I need to figure out how to organize writing as part of my life, as a real part of my life and not a fantasy that haunts me. What am I afraid of that keeps me from doing this? What do I need to write my academic texts? How do I need to organize my life. I think of Francisco Reyes Palma saying the other day that he could only organize things, but not get on with writing. This is happening to me too.